Dirty Weekend!!! - PART DEUX!!!
What really happened!!! So we went to the coast on Saturday afternoon (supposed to have gone in the morning!) and as we had reserved the hotel the night before we had a little direction to where we were going to sleep. Before we left we stopped at the petrol (gas) station and got the necessaries and some food and drink for the journey. He got fruit and nuts and I got chicken pasta salad.
So the journey took just over an hour and it was the best feeling ever. Getting away from the real world and all the problems that even though we had to come back 1 night away was like a detox!
We got there at around 3 in the afternoon and checked our bags and then got washed and dressed for dinner – it was only Pizza Hut but it was just US! I was so excited about finally getting some proper food!
So we waited for about 10 minutes in the long queue for a table – can you believe it in Pizza Hut the biggest pizza dive around and there is a queue they must be doing something right! We were seated by an extremely polite waiter and he took our drink orders – both on softies as he doesn’t drink I didn’t want to be wankered before the food got there!
So we ordered the food pronto as there was a queue for ordering as well – only 3 staff and about 40 people – MAYHEM!!! I had a couple sips of my tango but not too much as fizzy drinks fill me up if I am eating!
But then I started feeling all queezy and light-headed. Not a good feeling when you are awaiting a HOT LARGE STUFFED CRUST pizza L - I think many can share my misery!
I had to make a mad dash for the toilet and my head went first – if you know what I mean. That s**t was projectile! Not good – nicht git! –
So I was in there for the best part of ½ hour and not happy as I was thinking of him devouring my pizza – we had to order 2 large ones as he can easily eat 1 and ¾ on his own! – I was crying everywhere so my mascara was all down my face and my hair was all over the place.
When I finally pulled myself together and my head out of the toilet I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my stomach towards my ass and couldn’t move – my legs gave way and I was on the toilet floor.
I had no reception on my cell phone and had to wait for him to come in and get me out of the toilet and back to the hotel room – I passed out twice and ended up waking up all clammy on the hotel bed. It was quite possibly the worst experience all year.
We were looking forward to it so much to see if we could reconcile our differences and all it did was made sleeping dogs lie as the saying goes. Every time we tried to talk I would dip in and out of consciousness.
I woke up the next morning and put my brave legs on and headed for the bathroom – I managed a shower in pain still round my ass and managed to I know this sounds sick but take a s**t!!! It felt so good. For the rest of the day I could have inflated a hot air balloon!!
He drove me home and we barely spoke as I was asleep and when I got home I was too tired to discuss.
Who knows – So much for a dirty weekend.
It took me until today – Wednesday to write this as I have been sick as s**t and working like a dog on some paperwork to finish things before I leave.
So what did y’all get up to this weekend just gone? I hope better events than mine were in the making!!!
Peace
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